Word on the Street: SUMMER of 2006, DOWN AND UP

“I say business is up.” “Yeah, up the old kazoo.” “Where’s all the tourists?” “They’re here on weekends.” “Not like it used to be.” “Nothing’s like it used to be, that’s the way it is. You see gas anywhere for 50 cents a gallon?” “I hear business is nuthin’ to write home about.” “What the hell does that mean?” “Don’t ask me.” “It’s the people in the overpriced condos who don’t eat out or buy anything here.” “It’s the gas prices.” “ It’s the Bush economy.” “B.S.” “It’s the high-end restaurants, dinner for two, $150!” “It’s the motel, hotel prices.” “It’s $3 ice cream cones, $5 slices of pies, $3 cups of soup, $15 homemade fancy breads, dinners from $16 to $36, over-priced lunch baskets of fried, bad tasting chicken, shrimp, what-have-you, $20 pies, small pizzas $12 to $18, a sweet roll and coffee almost $5, $7 wraps tasting like wet cardboard, regular coffee moving toward $2 a cup, and designer-coffee going for as much as some city-sap is willing to pay for a bitter cup of foam.” “It’s the mosquitoes, rain, hot weather, global warming.” “It’s because we ain’t the Dells.” “No, we’re headin’ for something worse.” “It’s because we don’t have any big Water Parks for the kids.” “We got the whole goddam Lake, Michigan, isn’t that enough? Water Parks my arse!” “I still say it’s up.” “I say you’re taking too much Viagra!”